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How to Build Long Lasting Relationships

by Dominique Allen, Reporter

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We’ve all had our shares of one-week relationships with cute boys or girls in the elementary playgrounds or the lockers in middle school hallways. As time moved on we realized how unsuccessful our relationships were, so we gave up on trying to make them work. We’re in high school now, and as the life of adulthood moves closer, we need to be able to know how to build long, lasting relationships with lovers, friends and even our peers.

Number one: be honest to people and to yourself. If you’re not happy with the person you’re with, let them go. They could be holding you back, and life’s too short to be chasing unhappy.

When you’re honest with others, you don’t have to keep up with all your lies, nor will the other person distrust you.

Dr. Gleb Tsipursky Ph.D., a husband of 18 years, says, “Exhibit vulnerability and openness, share secrets, and be generous in your offers to compromise (of trust).”

Number two: let go of expectations. Throw these expectations out the front door because when you expect something and it never happens, it only leads to more heartbreak. When coming face to face with what you thought was real and what’s reality can be hard, and having high expectations can magnify that feeling.

Number three: Trust others by opening up. If you don’t open up, the other person usually doesn’t either, which will only create a barrier in the relationship that could end up being the downfall. Communication is key when trying to build trust, whether it’s a friend or significant other if you can’t be yourself with someone, you’ll lose that bond.

Number four: Communicate on a deeper level. Not only should you really listen to a person with your full attention, but also listen to what he or she is conveying and signaling when it comes to their emotions. Understanding and listening are two different things, everyone can nod and listen to a story, but being able to understand why someone that’s close to you is upset and knowing how to help is fundamental for strong relationships.

You can tell what a person is feeling by their tone of voice and body language. Knowing what a person is feeling and understanding what a person is saying gives a better connection for both people.

Number five: The most important rule to building great relationships is to set boundaries and respect the boundaries given.

Giving privacy to a friend or lover and not stalking their social media to see what photo they just liked three seconds ago, will create an atmosphere of trust, comfortability, and happiness for both people. Sometimes all you need is space to breathe every once in a while.

Number six: Be prepared for conflicts. If you thought it could never happen to you and your significant other and friends, then be ready for an incoming quick breakup because every good relationship has conflicts. Conflicts are what bring people closer.

News flash: Every conflict shouldn’t end a relationship or friendship. Apologizing when you’re wrong is the best method to resolve a conflict.

Number seven, and listen closely to this one: Don’t leave yourself for another person. Let me explain, never in a relationship, friendship, or partnership should you sacrifice your beliefs, your goals, and desires.

You are a person, you matter, and you should focus on yourself before you focus on other people. With that, it’s also important to compromise with others, you should balance your needs and the needs of other people as well.

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